Our Shameful Royal Rumble Prediction Post & Draft

The Royal Rumble is coming up and it actually looks like it will be a fun show. Maybe it's because I (Rick City) haven't watched much wrestling recently, but it seems to be a pretty unpredictable show. This is especially true of the Royal Rumble match itself.

And that's where this post comes in.

John Dos Passos 2 and I have decided to make this a little more interesting/shameful this year with a series of picks and predictions on the Royal Rumble match.

So, we're going to make some picks and award points for stuff and come up with a "winner" out of the two of us for the show. In a more accurate sense, none of us are winners, but we're doing this anyway.

The first point is simple: I will take the even numbered entrants and he will take the odds. If the winner is an even numbered entrant, I get a point. If the winner is an odd, he gets a point.

Now, we're also going to make a few predictions on various aspects of the match. Each correct prediction is worth one point.

The First Elimination

RC: Mojo Rawley, because why not?
JDP2: I'm gonna go with the Big Show.

The "Iron Man"
This is a prediction of who will last the longest in the match

RC: The Miz
JDP2: God, the Miz is the smart choice, but I'm going to say Braun Strowman

The Shortest Time in the Match

JDP2: James Ellsworth
RC: Xavier Woods

Who Will Eliminate the Most Competitors

RC: The Undertaker
JDP2: Braun Strowman

Predict Surprise Entrants
22 people have officially been announced, so that leaves eight spots for potential surprises. Who will they be? (One point for each correct guess)

JDP2: Samoa Joe, Kane, the winner of the UK tourney (who also will get the Saddest Pop), Kurt Angle, HHH, Nakamura (who loses to Roode at the NXT thing), James Ellsworth, Kevin Nash

RC: Kurt Angle, Kane, Samoa Joe, Booker T, AJ Styles/John Cena (whoever loses their match), Mark Henry, Apollo Crews, Sting (because a guy can dream, right?)

The Last Elimination

JDP2: The Undertaker
RC: Chris Jericho

The Winner

RC: The Undertaker
JDP2: Chris Jericho

Now, we've also come up with some categories that won't have definite answers, but they're just for fun/shame:

Most Awkward Elimination

JDP2: I'm going to go with the Big Cass. He's awkward.
RC: Something Braun Strowman does.

The Competitor with the Least Chance of Winning

RC: The Big Show. Doesn't he already have a match for WrestleMania against Shaq booked?
JDP2: Least chance of winning? Big Show because he has that match with Shaq at Mania.

Cheap Pop Entrant
This is for someone who you know won't last long in the match, but they're announced just to make the crowd cheer.

RC: Booker T
JDP2: I made the prediction that Ellsworth comes out to Shawn Michaels' theme. I'm counting that as a cheap pop. I will enjoy this.

First Elimination That Makes the Crowd Do an Annoying Chant

JDP2: God the crowds. I'm going to say they'll still be doing a stupid chant from the Reigns match, so pre-Rumble?
RC: Can I say the opening bell? Because I expect a "THIS IS AWESOME" chant.

Saddest Pop Entrant
This goes to the competitor who will receive the worst reaction/no reaction for entering the match.

JDP2: The UK Tournament Winner
RC: Mojo Rawley

Wacky Kofi Kingston Non-Elimination
You know he'll have some stunt. What will it be?

RC: He'll be eliminated but no official will see it and he'll convince the refs he did something crazy to stay in the match and they'll believe him.

JDP2: Kofi will get knocked off the ropes but fall through a wormhole and travels back in time to the WrestleMania with the Trump / McMahon match. He convinces Steve Austin to "accidentally" give Trump a real stunner. Trump, while recuperating in the hospital undergoes psychiatric evaluation, is put on medication, and now sees himself as a loser. As such he doesn't try as hard to hide his financial issues and is charged with tax evasion by the IRS and is convicted. His family has to work for a living at a rest stop on the New Jersey Turnpike. As Kofi reenters 2017, he realizes that not only is the world a safer, saner place with Barack Obama entering his 3rd term in office, also but we all have developed lizard tongues and donuts rain outside the arena.

Or he jumps onto a hot-dog cart and pushes it around the ring.

Okay, now that we've done that nonsense, we're also doing a draft. John Dos Passos 2 got to pick first overall by random generator, and we'll alternate picking people from the list of announced competitors until there are none left. If the person you pick wins the match, you get a point.

First Pick (JDP2): The Undertaker
Second Pick (RC): Randy Orton
3 (JDP2): Bray Wyatt
4 (RC): Dean Ambrose
5 (JDP2): Chris Jericho
6 (RC): Dolph Ziggler
7 (JDP2): The Miz
8 (RC): Big E
9 (JDP2): Goldberg
10 (RC): Brock Lesnar
11 (JDP2): Braun Strowman
12 (RC): Rusev
13 (JDP2): Big Cass
14 (RC): Luke Harper
15 (JDP2): Cesaro
16 (RC): Baron Corbin
17 (JDP2): Kofi Kingston
18 (RC): Sami Zayn
19 (JDP2): Sheamus
20 (RC): Xavier Woods
21 (JDP2): Mojo Rawley (No clue who that is)
22 (RC): (He was in NXT & was Zack Ryder's tag partner. He's horrible.) Big Show

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