WrestleMania is Going to be WAY Too Long

WrestleMania Don't-Call-It-33-It's-A-Big-Shining-Sun-Because-It's-In-Florida-And-It's-Sunny-There-And-This-Event-Is-Young-And-Hip-Not-Some-Lame-33-Year-Old-Parent is this Sunday. 

13 matches are scheduled.


Yes, three of them (I think) are going to take place on the preshow, but that still leaves ten matches on the main card. Plus, don't forget, "Mr. Worldwide" Pitbull will be performing as well as Lunchmoney Lewis, Stephen Marley and Flo Rida, because it's been about 30 seconds since Flo Rida appeared on a WWE show, so that needs to be rectified immediately.

And there will be the New Day segments, the Hall of Fame segment, the entrances, video packages, the New Day segments, guest stars, nostalgia appearances, New Day segments, backstage promos, songs, New Day segments, and more.

I mean, I get it. They want to be like the Super Bowl. They want to be a day-long thing that people invite their friends over to watch and everyone eats food and gets progressively drunker until they pass out long before the show ends with a triumphant Roman Reigns (we know it's going to happen).


I can't dedicate three hours to watching Raw, so there's no way that I'm going to watch seven hours of WrestleMania. I have a wife and a two-year-old. Neither of them will be happy with "Sorry, I can't do that right now. Maybe in four more hours after WrestleMania ends. Yes, I know I've already been watching this for three hours, but Dean Ambrose versus Baron Corbin is coming up!"


Maybe I'll just watch the highlights the next day like I do for the weekly shows. I want to watch this show, but I don't have a spare seven hours in my life to do so.

What audience is WWE targeting with a show of this length? Kids aren't going to sit there and watch for seven hours. Older adults with kids won't do it either. People in their 20s who want to have a party for the event probably will, but there's nothing about WWE's booking or presentation that suggests they want to attract people in their 20s, so I am genuinely confused.

Will you be watching all seven hours of WrestleMania? Will you hate yourself afterwards? Let us know in the comments.

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