Survivor Series Preview

Rick_City: Welcome to our Survivor Series preview!

JohnDosPassos2: This is going to be shameful.

Rick_City: I'm not even sure what the card for this show is anymore, they've changed it so often. I just really think that...

Tony Schiavone: WAIT..... HERE COMES @jayyyyynine!!! SHE IS IN THE BUILDING!!!!


Jay: That's right, I am the third man. Well, not really, but you get the joke right? I'm a lady, and I'm here to present my terrible opinions about wrestling, which if you know Rick, I apologize because I'm worse.

Rick_City: Hey yo!

JohnDosPassos2: Too Sweet.... and such

Rick_City: I think this terrible joke has run its course. Not that running something into the ground has ever stopped me before.

JohnDosPassos2: This is like a twenty-year-old reference, you know that, right?

Rick_City: Nobody can stop me! *Starts spray painting things*

Jay: Anyway.... you can call me Jay or J9, I go by either. I tried to get a feel for how I fit into the wrestling world because I'm new to this, and its kind of a controversy according to Twitter. I'm either a really good heel or a 'tweener, but they cant decide. If you want a feel, I probably hate your favorites and love the trashiest wrestlers. That's just the kind of girl I am.

Rick_City: Oh look who's professional all of a sudden. *Pours another drink*

JohnDosPassos2: So... Survivor Series is this Sunday.  *Pours another drink*

Jay: Survivor series is this Sunday, but lets not forget about NXT Takeover on Saturday night. There's some great matches scheduled for Saturday and Im really excited about it.

Rick_City: I haven't watched NXT in months. This one is all yours, Jay.

Andrade Cien Almas vs. Drew McIntyre: Drew finally gets vengeance for that gross chewing gum Zelina stuck to his nice dress shirt.

Women's Championship Match: I really love Ember Moon. That's it. I have nothing to add.

Aleister Black vs. Velveteen Dream: In the words of my favorite super hero movie: "This shit's gonna have nuts in it!" Velveteen is a lot of drama and Aleister will not be saying his name, but the "blxck mass" will be kicking his face.

Lars  vs Kassius: As long as Kassius wears a cool vintage t-shirt, Im really indifferent.

War Games: My heart will probably stop sixteen times and my stomach will turn every time Adam Cole's face gets smashed into the steel cage.

Rick_City: War Games should be fun to see again after so, so long....

JohnDosPassos2: The 90s WCW references never stop around here!

Rick_City: I'm posting a 1990s Survivor Series logo right now.

WWE Cruiserweight Champion Enzo Amore vs. Kalisto (Kickoff Match)

Jay: The Cruiserweights once again are an aside, and if WWE does not give me any Power Point Presentations, I riot.

JohnDosPassos2: I won't recognize the legitimacy of Cruiserweight division until they bring in KeMonito to beat Endzo.

Rick_City: Everybody hates Enzo, so I'm picking Enzo because, deep down, WWE hates the Cruiserweights and all of us, so they want us to be unhappy.

Intercontinental Champion The Miz vs. United States Champion Baron Corbin

Jay: Who's your daddy, Miz?

JohnDosPassos2: The Miz wins by just mocking Corbin's bald-spot. He's that evil of a heel.

Rick_City: The Miz is incredible. If anybody cheers for him though, I'll scream. JUST LET SOMEONE BE A HEEL, DAMMIT!

Women’s 5-on-5 Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match

Jay: I know Asuka is a murder machine, but I watched Becky Lynch throw Ellsworth last week in Manchester. Don't mess with Becky.

JohnDosPassos2: Remember when both shows didn't have enough strong women wrestlers to do this? I do. Also, isn't the whole "rival shows" thing kinda silly? Anyway, Team Smackdown wins somehow, Asuka will be pissed, and then she'll kill someone.

Rick_City: How is anyone picking anyone other than Asuka to win this? As an aside, women's wrestling is now one of the highlights of any WWE show. Who could have possibly predicted that a decade ago?

Raw Women’s Champion Alexa Bliss vs. SmackDown Women’s Champion Charlotte Flair

Jay: I'm crying. Don't look at me.

JohnDosPassos2: They are going to have Charlotte win. Call it a hunch. Or call it the fact that someone's dad has an ESPN documentary on currently.

Rick_City: I am actually SHOCKED that they didn't keep Natalya in this match so they could do a "Survivor Series Screwjob 20 years later" finish, but here we are. I say Charlotte wins, even though Alexa Bliss is everything that is great in the world. (Or maybe the only thing that is even close to good in the world. Thanks, 2017.)

The Shield vs. The New Day

Jay: It is no secret I love Roman Reigns (the pinned tweet on the Wrestling Shame account was specifically aimed to make me mad) and you probably just stopped reading, called me about six inappropriate slurs, and tweeted angrily about me. (@ me next time @jayyyyynine)  But if you didn't, bear with me: Big E is going to get power bombed, and I am going to enjoy every second of it.

Don't count out any shenanigans from Kevin Owens or Sami Zayn. I think they'll make some kind of an appearance to cause trouble. Speaking of, how did Raw break in to Smackdown last week?...

JohnDosPassos2: I don't like the Shield. There, I said it. I'd say it again. Also, there's going to be a run-in during this match or a surprise partner for The New Day. I don't know who --- Steve Austin?

Rick_City: Yeah, like Roman Reigns is going to lose en route to defeating Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania.

Raw Tag Team Champions Cesaro & Sheamus vs. SmackDown Tag Team Champions The Usos

Jay: This can't possibly top Cesaro shoving his teeth further into his face at No Mercy.

JohnDosPassos2: I can't root against a tag-team called The Bar. I just can't.

Rick_City: I'm going to say The Usos because SmackDown needs to win something and WWE won't let Cesaro succeed.

Men’s 5-on-5 Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match: Raw vs SmackDown

Jay: TEAM MURDER! I mean Raw.

JohnDosPassos2: They've changed the make-up of these teams at least seven times in the past two weeks, so I fully expect another nine roster moves by Sunday evening.

Also, Team Raw wins because HHH.

Rick_City: WWE is sure trying hard here, sticking both Triple H and John Cena into this match for basically no reason. I say SmackDown wins because Triple H and Kurt Angle just can't get along and they need to fight at WrestleMania to solve their issues.

Universal Champion Brock Lesnar vs. WWE Champion AJ Styles (Champion vs. Champion Match)

Jay: I have a lot of angry feelings about Brock Lesnar and how many times I've had to listen to Paul Heyman say "BRAHK" lately, and AJ Styles deserves this. Fight me.

JohnDosPassos2: AJ will win here, but only because Roman Reigns will interfere in this. Just accept it folks. People will be pissed. We will be pissed (We being Rick and I).

Rick_City: Yeah, like Brock Lesnar is going to lose en route to losing to Roman Reigns at WrestleMania. God SuplexSuplexSuplexSuplex Brock is boring. Does anyone else feel kind of bad for Jinder Mahal? No? No one? I'll see myself out.

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